Wednesday 29 September 2010

Stephen Ireland

Thanks to readers Horsh and Mr.Williams for the suggestion, and I think the first image originated at whoateallthepies.tv.
This young man is a 24 year old footballer who recently transferred from Manchester City to Aston Villa. On his now inactive Bebo page, he posed in a thong while referring to himself as 'Daddy Dick'.


He started to experience hair loss at quite a young age and decided to do something about it. Unfortunately for him, it all went wrong in spectacular fashion. This is what he looked like just before he started treatment.


Sometime around early 2007 he started wearing a hairpiece. A few people made the odd uninformed comment about 'hair plugs' but overall it went unnoticed. It wasn't until September 2007 that things took a sinister turn.


Ireland withdrew from the Republic of Ireland international squad, citing the death of his Grandmother. Later that week, journalists discovered that she was in fact alive and well and surprised to read about her own death in the newspapers.
Ireland then changed his story and claimed it was his other, paternal Grandmother that had died. Again, this was untrue - she also was still alive. When found out, he lied again - this time it was the partner of his Grandfather who had supposedly died.


Ireland has since claimed the real reason for his departure from the squad was his girlfriend suffering a miscarriage. If true, this is of course tragic. But Ireland shouldn't be surprised if no one believes him.

Various sources have maintained that the real reason Ireland left the squad was down to his team-mates reaction to his hairpiece. A group of them, led by Stephen Hunt, pinned him to the floor and tried to rip off his wig, revealing his hairline. The banter had turned into bullying, and the story says a lot about the mentality of professional footballers. Ireland has never played for the national team since, and by summer 2008 he had ditched the wig and gone shaven headed bald.


In the aftermath of this incident, rival Manchester United fans gave Ireland his own chant, to the tune of The Beatles' "Yellow Submarine" :

"His grans not dead ,he just forgot.
  One week hes bald, the next hes not..
  He always lies, oh yes its true,
  Hes just a typical, f*cking blue.

  We all know Stephen Ireland wears a wig, Ireland wears a wig, Ireland wears a wig,


  He wears a wig, he wears a wig. He wears a wig, he wears a wig" 


Norwood Rating : 4 

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